The Claw!
by Emily-Mel
Summary: Don't worry... there's no Dr. J & I really didn't like that Jim Carrey movie. This is just a bit of fluff spawned at 3 a.m. while on a sugar high.


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Author: M of M & Em-chan  
  
Title: The Claw!  
  
Category: Humour?  
  
Label/Warnings: it's silly, right? But then again, there's no Dr. J, so it can't hurt too badly ^_^ Yeah, somebody-else has probably used this concept, but it came to me at around 2 a.m.--I totally sympathize with Wufei *sigh*  
  
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Whistling off-tune, he hoists his purchases and flashes the cashier a cheeky grin. "See ya around, miss." Her tittering giggle nets yet another wink before he staggers out under a heavy load.  
  
"Damn unfair to make me pay to replace all that ruined stuff... not like I even meant to set the place on fire. How was I to know inflammable means the same as flammable? It was a crummy looking blanket anyway... so what if Quatre was taking a nap under it at the time?" Duo grumbles, shifting the replica quilt in a vain attempt to gain a better grip. In a thorough funk, he spies a most welcome sight: a bank of gumball machines and toy dispensers off to one side of the exit.  
  
"Day's looking up, eh?" he smiles as he rummages for a fistful of change. Dumping his purchases on the stained and gummy floor, he slots a few coins in the nearest machine. "Oh, cherry." Down the line he collects trinkets and sugary treats, stuffing them into his pockets and concentrating on nothing in particular until he shuffles into someone.  
  
"Sorry, ma'am," he murmurs, looking sideways. "Didn't see you standing there."  
  
"Dammit, Maxwell. You made me lose him."  
  
"Wufei? What are you doing here?"  
  
The Chinese boy harrumphs his displeasure at the rude interruption, but does not disclose the reason behind his presence at the local mega- store. Instead, he returns his attention to the assortment of stuffed animals trapped beneath Plexiglas. He maneuvers the flaccid claw above the prizes, lips pressed together in a thin line of determination. Duo immediately spots the quarry: a round panda with felt holly berries and leaves.  
  
"Aw, so kawaii!"  
  
The interjection coincides perfectly with Wufei's angry growl to be quiet. Fidgeting and making motions with his hands in an attempt to influence the outcome, Duo waits in relative silence. Wufei slaps his open hand against the barrier in disgust when the metal appendage returns empty, having grasped nothing but air and tiny kewpie dolls .  
  
"How long you been trying for it, Fei-chan?" Duo natters.  
  
Wufei mutters a reply, "don't call me that demeaning name, Maxwell" being the only audible part.  
  
"Come again?"  
  
"All afternoon, if you must know," he snarls.  
  
"That long for something so simple? You're not even worthy of it, truth be told." Pushing his companion away from the controls, Duo takes matters into his own hands. "Let a master show you how it's done. Stand back and marvel at my finesse." He plunks in the requisite money and laces his fingers together. Palms out, he stretches them at arm's length. Carefully, each digit is limbered. With a final shake, he caresses the control stick.  
  
Minutes tick by without a response. "What are you waiting for?!?"  
  
"I'm getting in 'the Zone,' Fei-chan," Duo replies, eyes closed.  
  
"Well, hurry up. You're attracting attention." Wufei draws nearer, edging away from the grimy children gathering nearby.  
  
"Can't rush a good job." An exasperated snort propels him onward. Thumb and forefinger barely touching the worn plastic knob, he smoothly slides the chill contraption directly over the panda.  
  
"Oh, I shall have you," he chuckles grimly. One eye on the target and the other on Wufei, he allows the timer to count down. "Three... two... now!" He stabs a button, smirking at the other boy's awed expression.  
  
Plummeting, the claw snares the chubby toy. It's stiff fingers press into fluffy fur. Tightly, so very snugly, it grips and teases. After an eternity of torment for Wufei, it retracts in seeming victory.  
  
"You needn't debase yourself right now, peasant. Simple humble deference shall be enough until we reach a more populated area. Then you shall acknowledge my greatness." A look of utter disbelief crosses Wufei's face, blowing away Duo's arrogance. Together they watch in incredulity as all three prongs trail across the animal, slowly withdrawing and forever on the verge of a promised capture.  
  
"It's going to close, right?" Duo pleads. "Right?"  
  
Incredibly, it maintains a splayed shape until coming clear. Millimeters above the cherished animal, it clamps shut with a terrible *clang*. Receding into the upper housing, it makes a final futile trip to the drop-off bay.  
  
Howling in soul-rending despair, Wufei sinks to the floor. Duo, eyes glazed, stands firm. "So close... so close, my Nataku," Wufei wails, the sting of tears almost unbearable. Silent as creeping death, swift as a fleeing assassin, Duo springs into action.  
  
The sheer, mad power behind his desperate punch defeats the Plexiglas's inherent flexibility. It shatters, showering the area with dangerously sharp shards.  
  
"Yoink."  
  
He pushes the panda into Wufei's unresisting hands and propels them toward the exit, snatching up his legally purchased goods on the way. Blinking in wonder, Wufei snuggles his dear treasure. Duo fends off sluggish security guards and tosses everything (boy, bear and blanket) in the car. Speeding off into the sunset, he reflects on the experience.  
  
"Should have taken it in the first place."  
  
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~~Owari 


End file.
